[Ficlet] The Stoic One

[misanagi]

The Stoic One

Rating: G
Character: Heero
Summary: Many times after the war Heero felt awkward
Notes: Written for gw500 prompt # 216: Illusion

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Many times after the war Heero felt awkward. He would glance at the people around him and see them acting naturally, following a set of norms and rules he wasn't quite familiar with, and he had known that he was somehow out of place.

A part of him thought it would be easier just to keep away. He had tried that from the moment he had left for Earth with his Gundam disguised as a meteor and his resolve had lasted until he woke up to see Relena's worried face above him. Things hadn't gotten better after that. He had tried to ignore the protectiveness he felt for her just to end up saving her again and again.

And then came Duo. He had offered friendship and Duo's smile was a promise of happiness of some kind of companionship. Heero, try as he might, hadn't been able to ignore it so he had ran away.

By the time he met Trowa he felt the necessity to be sincere. He told Trowa what he would like to do. It was easy to say 'live by your emotions', it was more difficult to do that in a time of war. Quatre had showed him that it was possible. Sometimes Heero thought that if Quatre hadn't been so vulnerable then he wouldn't have been able to stop ignoring his own emotions and let himself care.

Wufei he understood in a personal way. They both fought to keep what they felt away from what they had to do and they both were losing the battle. On Sally's ship, after Wufei had used Zero, Heero had brought the other pilot something to eat. Wufei had reminded him they weren't friends. Heero had known that but he still masked his disappointment with a curt nod.

Much later, when he had found Duo hitting a wall in Peacemillion after Hilde had gotten hurt Heero hadn't ran away. He heard Duo rant as he bandaged his hands and when Duo fell asleep on his lap Heero had felt embarrassed but he had stayed anyway.

He had spent a whole night with Trowa when he recovered his memories. They had locked themselves in Trowa's quarters, Trowa sitting on the bed and Heero on the floor in silence. They didn't sleep that night but when morning came Trowa was more relaxed. He had thanked Heero and Heero not knowing exactly what to say, nodded in acknowledgment.

Making Quatre use Zero again had been painful but he had done it anyway. Quatre had trusted him, trusted him completely. Later after Quatre announced he didn't need Zero anymore he hugged Heero. He was smiling and not hurt in the least. Not knowing what to do with his arms, Heero simply let himself be hugged.

He still feels awkward sometimes. The words tangle in his throat and his limbs freeze. When it happens Relena smiles, Duo laughs it up and makes a joke, Trowa ignores it, Quatre subtlety covers for him, and Wufei barely notices. It doesn't happen as often anymore though, and either way, his friends had never cared.

Comments

[meritjubet.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed how you explored Heero's difference from other people and yet he does care and feel, but sometimes it is difficult to say. I liked this a lot :)

[misanagi.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm really happy that you liked it. I think Heero feels way too much sometimes, one of the reasons he doesn't know quite how to deal with it.

[caerfree.livejournal.com]

That was very nice. That's how I always see Heero too. He's not emotionless, he's just not sure how to express it. Very poignant.

[misanagi.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Caer! We see him the same way. I'm glad that you liked this ^-^

[lil-1337.livejournal.com]

That's the best thing about friends. They accept you for who you are regardless.

[misanagi.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's how you know true friends. Thank you for reading, Lil!

[sharona1x2.livejournal.com]

That's a really lovely piece of writing, Mis. I enjoyed the way you wrote all of the friendships. Very beautifully done.

[misanagi.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Sharon! I'm really glad that you liked it.

[tyreling.livejournal.com]

This one shot feels a bit different from the other ones, but still it's wonderful. I like how you wrote Heero, awkward but still trying to get a feel about the environment/people around him.

[misanagi.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Every pilot has their own challenges to get through.