Latin Jews

I just lighted the Sabbath candles and I'm ready to go and have my Sabbath diner.

Now, the ones of you who know about Judaism most be wondering why am I still using the computer since any electronic device handling is forbidden. The answer is pretty simple. I'm not an orthodox.

Anyway, galadriel_lll sent this to me and it describes the very weird group of people we Latin Jews are.

How you can tell if you're a Latin Jew?

-You are either a "Polaco" or a "Turco"

-You were the only one in your block who didn't have a Christmas tree.

-You eat brisket, kugel and arroz con frijoles for Shabbat dinner.

-You have a relative named Moises (Moshe) or Berta (Bertica).

-Your Bobe proudly tells her friends you're a Balebuste.

-You can't live without your Shikse.

-You were raised on Goya and Manischewitz products.

-You not only know who Don Francisco (from sabado gigante) is, but
he also sits next to you at temple. Not entierly true since he doesn't live in Colombia

-You have at least thirty cousins.

-You have relatives all over the world. (Really)

-You have someone in your immediate family that sells "shmates".

-Your parents or grandparents had a "tienda".

-Your Zeide speaks fluent spanish with a Russian accent.

-You often cook dinner for 50 people.

-Your husband, brother or cousin was a tax attorney but now works in the family business.

-Your relatives call you something ending in "le" (Tátele, Súrele, Míkele, etc.)

-Going to college was not an option, it was part of the 10 Commandments.

-You had your own cheering section at your graduation.

-You dance merengue and salsa at Bar-Mitzvahs.

-You say crazy things like "Me cago en el shmendrik ese."

-You wear an "ojito" or an "azabache" to protect you from el "Mal de ojo".

-You say things like "Pu Pu Pú" and "toca madera".

Yeah, that's my culture in a nut shell.

Did you understand any of that?

Any other Latinos or Jews out there? (Not you galadriel_lll, I already know you are both, just like me.)