misanagi: (Heero)
[personal profile] misanagi
Gifts of War

Rating: PG
Pairing: Gen
Summary: Written for [livejournal.com profile] stagesoflove, the Five Loves of Heero Yuy's life.
Wordcount: 500

Relena was the first person I loved. Of course I didn't know at the time, but in hindsight it's very clear… she was the first to break the shell around me and sneak in.

I blame that tear. Relena, so similar to that other girl, was crying because of me. She made me doubt my training, and myself. For that she should have died, but I couldn't kill her.

Relena was the first person to see me as more than a soldier. She gave me hope and the ability to see others as people, not simply as allies and enemies.


With Trowa, from the first moment, I felt like I had known him forever. He didn't demand anything from me; not attention or strength. I could be at ease with him and I felt like he understood me. It was the simplest kind of love, one between brothers, one that just is.

We could talk but we didn't need to. I never thanked him for taking care of me, not because I thought he should have let me die or because I wasn't grateful. I didn't because he already knew. He always did and I never had to say it.


Wufei I recognized as a comrade and a powerful ally. Back then, he was a loner and as long as he fought with us I didn't care if he considered me a friend or not. However, at some point, the lines between ally and friend blurred.

If I ever said out loud that I care for him, that my respect grew out to be love, he would punch me. That's the type of things we don't talk about. We show it; covering each other's backs, going out for a cup of coffee or not pulling a blow while we spar.


I was fortunate enough to spend a lot of time with Quatre, and in that time he reached out to me and gave me a wonderful gift: He taught me to understand love.

He let me see that the people who confused me so much were the people I loved, and that as soon as I acknowledged that, the confusion would fade away.

Quatre is a person who by nature loves to give, without expecting anything in return. He loved me, loved me like he loved and cared for all of us.

It was impossible not to love him back.


War is a strange place to meet people. In what other circumstances would someone befriend a person who shot them the first time they met?

Duo likes to make an impression, and he did with me… it wasn't a good one.

However, he is as stubborn as they come, and he kept trying to make a different one time and time again. I don't think my perception of him ever changed. What did was my view of what was acceptable.

I allowed myself to care, learned to value how he can make me smile, and understood that I love him.
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June 2011

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