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Hollow 6
Hollow 6/7
Rating: NC17
Pairings: 1x2, (1x2)+4 (friendship), 3x5.
Warnings: Angst, post EW, language, empathy. Heero's POV
Summary: After the war Heero has found his way, but some of the pilots are still trying to find theirs.
Very special thanks to Anne for the beta, and to everyone I ever spammed with snippets of this fic, and encouraged me to write. *hugs you all*
Previous chapters can be found here.
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Chapter Six
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It was our turn to cook this week. Neither Duo nor I had the skills Hilde did, but we managed to make decent stuff and Hilde wasn't a picky eater. I was in the kitchen, chopping vegetables for a tuna salad, when Wufei walked in through the kitchen door. Without a word, he grabbed another knife and started chopping the lettuce.
"Did you read those files?" he asked, after a moment.
"Yes." I kept my eyes on the vegetables.
"I know Quatre isn't lying, but perhaps he's just telling us what he thinks is the truth." His tone was careful, but I could detect some worry there too.
I raised my eyes. "He's not crazy."
"I'm not implying that." Wufei met my eyes. "I respect him very much, and care for him. I also know he cares a lot for other people, sometimes too much, and it might be that caring that makes him think he can sense others."
Shaking my head, I put the knife down on the table. "If it is in his head, then it is in my head too, Wufei."
He frowned. "Do you feel people too?"
"No, but I've felt Quatre." I took a bowl off a shelf and dropped the chopped vegetables inside.
"How?" Wufei's voice wasn't so full of skepticism now, it was more curious than anything.
"He helped me break Zero's hold when we were on the moon base, and he's helped me with my nightmares." I poured some vinegar inside the bowl. Wufei looked confused and I wonder if he had felt Quatre yesterday. "Why is this so hard for you to accept?"
"It defies logic," Wufei said, stiffly, and handed me the tray with chopped tomatoes. I took it and dropped the tomatoes in the bowl.
"As opposed to fifteen year olds flying Gundams, me surviving self destructing, or your superior martial art skills?"
"Training, Yuy. We trained and earned those abilities. It's not something that magically happened." He placed the knife on the table and walked to the sink to wash his hands.
"He trained his abilities too." I mixed the salad and then took the tuna out of the fridge. Not bothering with a can opener, I simply used the knife, opened the can and dropped the tuna in the bowl. Using a long spoon, I started mixing, adding some mayonnaise.
Wufei was quiet for a long time. I finished the salad, covered the bowl and put it on the fridge. Hilde, Duo and Quatre would be home soon and then we could eat. I put the utensils in the sink and washed my hands. Duo could wash all the plates later. We had a deal, whoever made dinner, didn't have to clean up.
"Would he show me if I ask him to?" Wufei looked thoughtful.
"I can't answer for him," I said. "But I think he will."
Wufei nodded. "Thank you."
* * *
Dinner that night was better. Duo talked animatedly with Hilde about the scrap yard business, Trowa made comments, Wufei made smart remarks and even Quatre contributed to the conversation now and then. For a while it seemed like we weren't here to solve a problem but just to have fun together.
When we were done, Wufei asked Quatre to go out for a drink. They all seemed surprised but Quatre just nodded, stood up and followed Wufei outside.
"That was unexpected," said Duo, standing up and cleaning the dishes from the table.
"He wants to talk with Quatre about his empathy." Trowa helped Duo with the dishes and without being asked, started to wash them.
Duo shook his head. "Still doesn't believe him, uh?"
"I think he wants to." I moved my chair back so I could sit more comfortably. "He just doesn't know how."
"It's easy." Duo turned to look at me. "You believe him and that's it."
"It isn't that simple for him." Trowa didn't turn his eyes away from the dishes. "When Quatre was hurt on Libra, I heard him call me. I wasn't near him but I knew that he needed me. Wufei tried to explain it as battle instinct. Then I told him that even when my memory was lost I could hear Quatre calling for me outside the colony; I knew he was sad and needed me. Wufei said that my subconscious was just trying to give me clues to remember." He put the last plate on the drying rack and finally looked at us. "If he accepts Quatre's empathy… then he accepts Quatre and I share a connection."
For a long minute no one said anything. Duo's eyes were cast down and when he raised them he was glaring at Trowa. "Is there a connection?"
"Yes." Trowa held Duo's gaze. "Quatre has always been special."
"Not special enough to stay with him?" Duo's voice was low and dangerous. "You chose Wufei, left Q, but you still want him. You've hurt him enough, Trowa. You can't keep playing with him like this. And what about Wufei? I'll be damned if you hurt another one of my friends."
"I care for them too." Trowa's tone was controlled. "More than you can imagine. I never meant to hurt Quatre. He was the one who told me to go to Wufei."
"Would you have stayed?" Duo's voice softened. "If he had asked you to?"
"Yes."
"Does Wufei know?" I asked.
"Yes."
If Wufei knew what had happened between Trowa and Quatre then his actions made more sense. He was afraid to lose Trowa. "Did he tell you he was afraid that you and Quatre shared a connection?"
"No." Trowa dried his hands on a rag and sat down on the chair he had previously occupied. "But he's not as skeptical as he appears to be. There has to be some other reason why he's so reluctant to believe Quatre."
"Quatre doesn't only share a connection with you." I didn't mean to sound cold. "During the war there was more than one instance in which he reached out to me empathically."
"You shouldn't be jealous," Duo commented casually. He pulled his chair closer to me and sat down. "You gave him up."
"He gave me up," Trowa murmured.
"You're both fools!" Duo grabbed my hand. "And now you've got Wufei mixed up in the mess."
Trowa lowered his eyes.
"Have you found an answer yet?" I asked Trowa.
He looked at me. "I won't hurt Wufei."
Duo looked curiously between the two of us but didn't question us.
"But you still love Quatre," I finished. The hurt was clear in Trowa's eyes.
"I love them both," Trowa said.
"So Quatre gets the short end of the stick, uh?" Duo gave Trowa a sad smile. "He's so lonely."
"I think that's what affecting his empathy," I commented.
Duo's and Trowa's eyes were quickly fixed on me. "What do you mean?" The concern was obvious in Trowa's voice.
"According to Dr. Dresdner's files, a development such as this in his projective abilities could be a way for his empathy to cover for another handicap, be it physical or emotional. Empaths need other people much more than any of us do. Loneliness is a handicap for them and Quatre's abilities acted to protect him."
Duo's eyes narrowed. "Protect him? He was so scared he left his family and his friends! He made himself even lonelier than he was."
I nodded. "Yes. Quatre unintentionally took others' emotions to fill his emptiness. But Quatre is too caring to allow that and he dealt with it the only way he could; running away."
"I did this." I don't think I've ever heard such sadness in Trowa's voice before.
"We all did," I said.
Duo looked down at his hands. "The question is how do we fix it?"
* * *
Trowa had fallen asleep on the couch, waiting for Wufei and Quatre to come back. Duo and I had gone upstairs, after we noticed that Trowa didn't need company but privacy. He had fallen silent after our conversation and his features had settled in a blank and distant look. He did admit he would rather wait here than go back to Hilde's, so we handed him a blanket and let him stay on the couch.
The moment we closed our bedroom door, Duo was pressing me against the wall, kissing me. I kissed him back, let my hands rest on the small of his back and pulled him closer. His hands roamed up and down my torso, fingers scraping over my chest.
Soon our clothes were gone and we were both in bed, naked, touching each other. I could see Duo biting his lip to keep his cries to a low moan as I prepared him quickly. He lay in bed, legs parted, looking up at me. When I entered him, his nails dug into my shoulders and his mouth opened in a silent cry. I shut my eyes tightly, taking deep breaths until I was able to move.
He wrapped his legs around my waist, pulling me closer, and raised his hands above his head. "Touch me," he whispered.
I braced myself on one arm and moved the other hand to his cock, caressing him, teasing him. I buried my head in his shoulder, covering his neck in small kisses. Duo turned his head towards me, his eyes meeting mine, so intense and full of love.
He came first and a couple of thrusts later I followed. I collapsed on top of him, my head resting on his collarbone. He put a hand around my waist and another on my head.
We waited, not wanting to move.
* * *
It could have been minutes or hours later when we heard voices downstairs.
Not bothering with clothes, Duo and I just put our bath robes on and walked out of our room. We stopped at the top of the stairs. Trowa and Quatre were in the living room.
Quatre was standing by the couch and Trowa was sitting, the covers thrown to the side.
"You should go," Quatre said. "He's waiting."
Trowa rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. "Why do you always tell me to leave?" Trowa's voice was barely over a whisper.
Quatre's shoulders slumped. "Because there's somewhere else you need to be."
Resting his elbows on his thighs, Trowa let his head drop on his hands. "How did it get to this?"
I could almost see Quatre swallow a sob. "It wasn't meant to be."
Trowa's head snapped up. "How do you know? How did you know?"
"I didn't." Quatre was clutching his trouser leg. "But now we both do."
In a moment Trowa was up and walking towards Quatre. Shaking his head, Quatre took a step back. "Wufei is waiting," he said. His back hit the wall. Quatre kept his head down, refusing to meet Trowa's eyes. "Go to him."
Trowa stepped back, as if he had been hit. He just stood there for a moment before walking out in haste. The moment the door closed Quatre slid down the wall.
I turned to look at Duo. His hands were in fists and his eyes were trained on Quatre's figure but he hadn't moved. I was frozen too, not sure what to do.
"I know you are there." Quatre's voice cut the silence like a knife.
Apparently that was all Duo needed to dash down the stairs and throw his arms around Quatre. I followed, more slowly, and waited until Duo helped Quatre up and sat him on the couch, one of us on each side.
No one said anything for a while. Duo had his hand resting softly on top of Quatre's, his fingers moving slowly in a soothing motion. Duo's foot was tapping softly on the carpeted floor. The silence was getting to him. I could see he wanted to talk but he wouldn't. He was waiting for Quatre to make the first move.
It took a few minutes but Quatre finally spoke, his eyes down and his voice soft. "Wufei believes me."
Our conversation with Trowa immediately came to my mind, and I wondered what had taken for Wufei to snap out of his denial.
"How did you swing that?" Duo asked.
"He kissed me."
Duo's foot stopped tapping. "What?"
Moving his hand away from Duo, Quatre folded his hands on his lap. "It wasn't until he kissed me that his skepticism faded away."
"Wait," Duo said, waiving his hands in front of him. "What exactly do you mean he kissed you? Was it a friendly kiss on the cheek, or was there tongue involved, what kind of kiss was it?"
I couldn't ask, my mouth was shut tightly and I couldn't find it in me to speak the words, but I also wanted to know exactly what had happened.
"It was a kiss on the lips." Quatre lifted his head just enough to give Duo a side glance and added, "Mouth closed."
"Why?" I swallowed. That one word had been difficult to pronounce.
Quatre sighed. "I'm not sure. It happened just before we decided to leave. We had been talking about my empathy. He wanted to know what happened with Saidah, and about the other episodes." He made a face, as if that last word tasted bitter. "He just listened, all night long, he heard me talk, and then I said I would prove it, if he allowed me, and that's when he kissed me." Quatre's finger's curled. "After that, he said he believed me, and I knew it was true."
"There's something you are not telling us," I said as I watched Quatre close his eyes.
Quatre's chin pressed to his chest and even through the curtain of hair I could see his eyes were still closed. "I…" He took a breath. "I liked it."
"What?" Duo's voice was louder than usually.
Quatre buried his head down further, if it was possible, and I gently put two fingers under his chin and lifted it. His eyes were open but he was avoiding looking at me or Duo.
Duo put a hand on Quatre's shoulder. "Q, do you have feelings for Wufei?" His voice was quiet now, soft, and free of judgment.
Tilting his head slightly, Quatre met Duo's eyes. "I don't know."
"And Trowa?" Duo glared at me as soon as I said the words.
"I love Trowa." Quatre's tone was sincere.
"What did you feel from Wufei?" I asked, remembering that Quatre had an insight none of us did.
"He was curious at first, and then, after the kiss he was nervous and confused. He loves Trowa, though," he said with a little smile. "That was as clear as it could be."
"I don't understand why Fei would kiss you," Duo said. "It seems out of character for him."
I shrugged. There are many things about Wufei we don't know.
"You smell of sex," Quatre's statement startled me. He smiled and added. "I'm glad."
"You're glad we're stinky, Q?" Duo raised an eyebrow. "Man, you're weird."
Quatre's smile brightened a little. "You know what I mean."
"I always do," Duo said, and smiled back. "Now if you just wait right here," he added, in a playful tone as he stood up from the couch, "I'll go change the sheets and then you can come to bed."
Quatre shook his head. "I'll stay here tonight."
"You are welcome to join us," I said.
"It's okay." Quatre stood up and started arranging the pillows on the couch. "I'd rather sleep alone tonight."
I stood up but waited, not sure about leaving. Duo, however, gave Quatre a hug, and then a small kiss on the check before saying goodnight, and walking to the stairs.
"Go, Heero." Quatre smiled at me.
"Goodnight." I kissed him on the forehead and walked to the stairs. Duo was waiting for me there. He pulled me into a kiss and then put an arm around my waist. We climbed the stairs and headed straight for bed, not bothering to change the sheets.
* * *
Duo woke me up. He climbed into bed, fresh from the shower, his hair still unbraided and dripping, and kissed me, hard. He ran his hands up and down my chest and delivered little kisses to my neck and collarbone.
I smiled, put my arms around him, and pulled away the towel around his waist. I caressed his thighs and ass, letting the tip of my fingers tickle the skin just above his hipbone. He moaned. He always does when I do that.
"We can't," he said, pushing my hand away. "Cat is downstairs. He'd feel us and I don't think he's ready to deal with that yet."
I groaned. "You are a tease."
He kissed me again before climbing off the bed and walking naked to the closet. "I'll make it up to you. Promise."
I groaned again and snuggled under the covers, watching Duo dress. "Are you taking Quatre with you today?"
"No," Duo said, buttoning up his work jeans. "I'll need him tomorrow though." He put on a t-shirt and then sat on the bed to put on a pair of socks and his work boots. "Why? Think I should? He might need the distraction."
I watched him braid his hair quickly, but I didn't move. I was too comfortable. "Don't take him unless you really need him. He might need some time to think."
He kissed me again. "I have to go. Keep an eye on him." He didn't wait for me to nod before he was out of the room.
It was early. I closed my eyes ready to sleep some more. A few minutes later another body climbed onto the bed. I moved aside to give Quatre some room.
* * *
Quatre was still sleeping when I woke up again, but as soon as I sat up he opened his eyes.
"Sorry," he said, and gave me a sheepish smile. "I was cold. Duo sent me here. He said you wouldn't mind."
"I don't. We've shared before."
"That was different." He sat up slightly and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. "It was the war. You didn't have a choice."
In the time we had spent together on Earth the conditions had been less than adequate. We moved around a lot, which often left us huddled on the ground sharing a blanket we had stolen just after we crashed. Even the few times we both had a space to sleep we tended to stay close together. It was important to know I had an ally nearby. Duo had taught me it was alright to sleep close to someone you trusted. At first he had said it was to stay warm, then I understood it was to stay sane. Capture is never easy.
Back then, I had the opportunity to give Quatre what Duo had given me: a link to sanity. He didn't think he deserved it then, and now, even though not as intensely as before, he was thinking himself unworthy again.
"Are you uncomfortable by sleeping next to me?" I asked.
His eyes opened wider, as if he had just now woken up. "This is yours and Duo's bed. It isn't right for me to be here."
"Why?"
Clutching the edge of the blankets with his fingers, Quatre opened his mouth to reply and then closed it again. He shook his head. "I'm imposing on you too much already." He laughed but the sound was bitter. "You can't even have sex with me around." He sat up completely now and looked at my eyes when he said, "I think it's time for me to go."
"No." The word left my mouth immediately.
"I'm better now, Heero. My empathy isn't so…" he paused to search for the word, "erratic. You've done what you could, and I'm grateful, but I can't stay here forever."
"Where would you go?" I should have said no again. He wasn't leaving. I wasn't going to let my friend down again.
He shrugged. "I'll figure it out."
"You are running again." He held my gaze; some of the fight that was usually in Quatre's eyes was back. "You are making the same mistake you made when you told Trowa to leave."
His eyes narrowed slightly and he let the blankets go. "It wasn't a mistake. He wanted Wufei and that's what he got. End of story."
"Then why are you afraid?" There was still fight in his eyes but he looked down for a moment, a second, and that was enough for me to know. "You know how they feel," I whispered.
Quatre's shoulders slumped. "No. I'm confused. I'm feeling what I want, not what's real. It's a trick."
"You don't believe that," I said, putting a hand on top of Quatre's. He was freezing. "If you did, you wouldn't be afraid."
He didn't reply. We stayed there, on the bed, me holding his hand, and Quatre looking away. I could wait until he was ready to talk but this time, I wasn't letting him run.
* * *
I would have waited all day if I had to, but half an hour later there was a knock on the door. The robe I had put on last night was still tied loosely around me. I climbed out of bed and walked downstairs, fastening the robe properly.
Trowa and Wufei were at the door, fully dressed. Wufei smirked when he saw me, then glanced at his watch and shook his head. "It's mid morning."
Since I didn't have a watch on, I grabbed his wrist and looked at his. "It's nine fifteen."
He snatched his hand back but before he could argue with me, like I knew he would, Trowa said, "There's something we need to do. Can we borrow your jeep?"
I yawned and nodded. Grabbing the keys from their place at the table I threw them at Trowa. He caught them easily. "Don't worry about dinner tonight," Trowa said. "We'll bring something."
I raised my eyebrow and nodded again. I wasn't going to pass on the opportunity of better food than what Duo or I are capable of preparing. They both turned around and headed for the jeep. I watched them pull out the driveway before I closed the door.
Seeing as I was already downstairs, I set out to make breakfast for me and Quatre. Duo had put on the coffee before he left so some toast and eggs was all I needed to make. Quatre came into the kitchen a few minutes later, showered and dressed in one of my sweatpants and Duo's batman t-shirt. "I can't keep stealing your clothes," he said, looking down at himself.
I turned off the stove and divided the eggs in two plates. "Get the toast." I pointed to the oven with my head. "You look good in our clothes. Less corporate."
He laughed. "Not like Master Winner, you mean."
I shrugged. "That's just a costume. This is more you."
He put the toast on the table at the same time I put the plates. He poured us both some coffee and we sat down, eating quietly. After a few bites he put his fork down on the plate and said, "I don't think I want to go back." He tried to give me a smile but it disappeared almost as soon as it formed. "Even if I'm no longer a threat, I don't want to go back to L4." A pause. "It was lonely there."
"You can stay here." I finished my eggs and started with the toast.
"Heero, you and Duo have already done too much for me. You need your privacy. I can't stay here forever."
"Certainly. This house is too small. However, you can stay on L2." I brushed some crumbs from my robe. "Didn't you say your company was handling a project here? You should stay and oversee it."
He looked down to the side and frowned slightly. I knew he was contemplating my words carefully, weighting his options and seeing if it was a feasible solution. He sighed, so softly that if the room hadn't been in complete silence I wouldn't have noticed. "You are wondering about them."
"I shouldn't," he said, looking back at me. "It's not like…" he shook his head and left the thought unfinished.
"Maybe you should." I finished my toast and started on the coffee. It was warm, not hot, just how I liked it.
"Don't say stuff like that, Heero." Pushing his plate away, Quatre crossed his arms over the table, his fingers curled.
"Why?"
"Because I can't afford to hope." He bit his lip. "I should call my family and the Maguanacs. They must be worried." He stood up, gathered the empty plates and placed them on the sink. "Can I use your phone?"
I gave him a look and he smiled. "Thank you."
After he finished with the dishes, he headed for the kitchen door. "What are you going to say?" I asked, just before he left.
He didn't turn around. "That I'm done running, and that I'm staying here."
TBC
(Last part tomorrow *bites nails*)
Rating: NC17
Pairings: 1x2, (1x2)+4 (friendship), 3x5.
Warnings: Angst, post EW, language, empathy. Heero's POV
Summary: After the war Heero has found his way, but some of the pilots are still trying to find theirs.
Very special thanks to Anne for the beta, and to everyone I ever spammed with snippets of this fic, and encouraged me to write. *hugs you all*
Previous chapters can be found here.
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Chapter Six
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It was our turn to cook this week. Neither Duo nor I had the skills Hilde did, but we managed to make decent stuff and Hilde wasn't a picky eater. I was in the kitchen, chopping vegetables for a tuna salad, when Wufei walked in through the kitchen door. Without a word, he grabbed another knife and started chopping the lettuce.
"Did you read those files?" he asked, after a moment.
"Yes." I kept my eyes on the vegetables.
"I know Quatre isn't lying, but perhaps he's just telling us what he thinks is the truth." His tone was careful, but I could detect some worry there too.
I raised my eyes. "He's not crazy."
"I'm not implying that." Wufei met my eyes. "I respect him very much, and care for him. I also know he cares a lot for other people, sometimes too much, and it might be that caring that makes him think he can sense others."
Shaking my head, I put the knife down on the table. "If it is in his head, then it is in my head too, Wufei."
He frowned. "Do you feel people too?"
"No, but I've felt Quatre." I took a bowl off a shelf and dropped the chopped vegetables inside.
"How?" Wufei's voice wasn't so full of skepticism now, it was more curious than anything.
"He helped me break Zero's hold when we were on the moon base, and he's helped me with my nightmares." I poured some vinegar inside the bowl. Wufei looked confused and I wonder if he had felt Quatre yesterday. "Why is this so hard for you to accept?"
"It defies logic," Wufei said, stiffly, and handed me the tray with chopped tomatoes. I took it and dropped the tomatoes in the bowl.
"As opposed to fifteen year olds flying Gundams, me surviving self destructing, or your superior martial art skills?"
"Training, Yuy. We trained and earned those abilities. It's not something that magically happened." He placed the knife on the table and walked to the sink to wash his hands.
"He trained his abilities too." I mixed the salad and then took the tuna out of the fridge. Not bothering with a can opener, I simply used the knife, opened the can and dropped the tuna in the bowl. Using a long spoon, I started mixing, adding some mayonnaise.
Wufei was quiet for a long time. I finished the salad, covered the bowl and put it on the fridge. Hilde, Duo and Quatre would be home soon and then we could eat. I put the utensils in the sink and washed my hands. Duo could wash all the plates later. We had a deal, whoever made dinner, didn't have to clean up.
"Would he show me if I ask him to?" Wufei looked thoughtful.
"I can't answer for him," I said. "But I think he will."
Wufei nodded. "Thank you."
* * *
Dinner that night was better. Duo talked animatedly with Hilde about the scrap yard business, Trowa made comments, Wufei made smart remarks and even Quatre contributed to the conversation now and then. For a while it seemed like we weren't here to solve a problem but just to have fun together.
When we were done, Wufei asked Quatre to go out for a drink. They all seemed surprised but Quatre just nodded, stood up and followed Wufei outside.
"That was unexpected," said Duo, standing up and cleaning the dishes from the table.
"He wants to talk with Quatre about his empathy." Trowa helped Duo with the dishes and without being asked, started to wash them.
Duo shook his head. "Still doesn't believe him, uh?"
"I think he wants to." I moved my chair back so I could sit more comfortably. "He just doesn't know how."
"It's easy." Duo turned to look at me. "You believe him and that's it."
"It isn't that simple for him." Trowa didn't turn his eyes away from the dishes. "When Quatre was hurt on Libra, I heard him call me. I wasn't near him but I knew that he needed me. Wufei tried to explain it as battle instinct. Then I told him that even when my memory was lost I could hear Quatre calling for me outside the colony; I knew he was sad and needed me. Wufei said that my subconscious was just trying to give me clues to remember." He put the last plate on the drying rack and finally looked at us. "If he accepts Quatre's empathy… then he accepts Quatre and I share a connection."
For a long minute no one said anything. Duo's eyes were cast down and when he raised them he was glaring at Trowa. "Is there a connection?"
"Yes." Trowa held Duo's gaze. "Quatre has always been special."
"Not special enough to stay with him?" Duo's voice was low and dangerous. "You chose Wufei, left Q, but you still want him. You've hurt him enough, Trowa. You can't keep playing with him like this. And what about Wufei? I'll be damned if you hurt another one of my friends."
"I care for them too." Trowa's tone was controlled. "More than you can imagine. I never meant to hurt Quatre. He was the one who told me to go to Wufei."
"Would you have stayed?" Duo's voice softened. "If he had asked you to?"
"Yes."
"Does Wufei know?" I asked.
"Yes."
If Wufei knew what had happened between Trowa and Quatre then his actions made more sense. He was afraid to lose Trowa. "Did he tell you he was afraid that you and Quatre shared a connection?"
"No." Trowa dried his hands on a rag and sat down on the chair he had previously occupied. "But he's not as skeptical as he appears to be. There has to be some other reason why he's so reluctant to believe Quatre."
"Quatre doesn't only share a connection with you." I didn't mean to sound cold. "During the war there was more than one instance in which he reached out to me empathically."
"You shouldn't be jealous," Duo commented casually. He pulled his chair closer to me and sat down. "You gave him up."
"He gave me up," Trowa murmured.
"You're both fools!" Duo grabbed my hand. "And now you've got Wufei mixed up in the mess."
Trowa lowered his eyes.
"Have you found an answer yet?" I asked Trowa.
He looked at me. "I won't hurt Wufei."
Duo looked curiously between the two of us but didn't question us.
"But you still love Quatre," I finished. The hurt was clear in Trowa's eyes.
"I love them both," Trowa said.
"So Quatre gets the short end of the stick, uh?" Duo gave Trowa a sad smile. "He's so lonely."
"I think that's what affecting his empathy," I commented.
Duo's and Trowa's eyes were quickly fixed on me. "What do you mean?" The concern was obvious in Trowa's voice.
"According to Dr. Dresdner's files, a development such as this in his projective abilities could be a way for his empathy to cover for another handicap, be it physical or emotional. Empaths need other people much more than any of us do. Loneliness is a handicap for them and Quatre's abilities acted to protect him."
Duo's eyes narrowed. "Protect him? He was so scared he left his family and his friends! He made himself even lonelier than he was."
I nodded. "Yes. Quatre unintentionally took others' emotions to fill his emptiness. But Quatre is too caring to allow that and he dealt with it the only way he could; running away."
"I did this." I don't think I've ever heard such sadness in Trowa's voice before.
"We all did," I said.
Duo looked down at his hands. "The question is how do we fix it?"
* * *
Trowa had fallen asleep on the couch, waiting for Wufei and Quatre to come back. Duo and I had gone upstairs, after we noticed that Trowa didn't need company but privacy. He had fallen silent after our conversation and his features had settled in a blank and distant look. He did admit he would rather wait here than go back to Hilde's, so we handed him a blanket and let him stay on the couch.
The moment we closed our bedroom door, Duo was pressing me against the wall, kissing me. I kissed him back, let my hands rest on the small of his back and pulled him closer. His hands roamed up and down my torso, fingers scraping over my chest.
Soon our clothes were gone and we were both in bed, naked, touching each other. I could see Duo biting his lip to keep his cries to a low moan as I prepared him quickly. He lay in bed, legs parted, looking up at me. When I entered him, his nails dug into my shoulders and his mouth opened in a silent cry. I shut my eyes tightly, taking deep breaths until I was able to move.
He wrapped his legs around my waist, pulling me closer, and raised his hands above his head. "Touch me," he whispered.
I braced myself on one arm and moved the other hand to his cock, caressing him, teasing him. I buried my head in his shoulder, covering his neck in small kisses. Duo turned his head towards me, his eyes meeting mine, so intense and full of love.
He came first and a couple of thrusts later I followed. I collapsed on top of him, my head resting on his collarbone. He put a hand around my waist and another on my head.
We waited, not wanting to move.
* * *
It could have been minutes or hours later when we heard voices downstairs.
Not bothering with clothes, Duo and I just put our bath robes on and walked out of our room. We stopped at the top of the stairs. Trowa and Quatre were in the living room.
Quatre was standing by the couch and Trowa was sitting, the covers thrown to the side.
"You should go," Quatre said. "He's waiting."
Trowa rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. "Why do you always tell me to leave?" Trowa's voice was barely over a whisper.
Quatre's shoulders slumped. "Because there's somewhere else you need to be."
Resting his elbows on his thighs, Trowa let his head drop on his hands. "How did it get to this?"
I could almost see Quatre swallow a sob. "It wasn't meant to be."
Trowa's head snapped up. "How do you know? How did you know?"
"I didn't." Quatre was clutching his trouser leg. "But now we both do."
In a moment Trowa was up and walking towards Quatre. Shaking his head, Quatre took a step back. "Wufei is waiting," he said. His back hit the wall. Quatre kept his head down, refusing to meet Trowa's eyes. "Go to him."
Trowa stepped back, as if he had been hit. He just stood there for a moment before walking out in haste. The moment the door closed Quatre slid down the wall.
I turned to look at Duo. His hands were in fists and his eyes were trained on Quatre's figure but he hadn't moved. I was frozen too, not sure what to do.
"I know you are there." Quatre's voice cut the silence like a knife.
Apparently that was all Duo needed to dash down the stairs and throw his arms around Quatre. I followed, more slowly, and waited until Duo helped Quatre up and sat him on the couch, one of us on each side.
No one said anything for a while. Duo had his hand resting softly on top of Quatre's, his fingers moving slowly in a soothing motion. Duo's foot was tapping softly on the carpeted floor. The silence was getting to him. I could see he wanted to talk but he wouldn't. He was waiting for Quatre to make the first move.
It took a few minutes but Quatre finally spoke, his eyes down and his voice soft. "Wufei believes me."
Our conversation with Trowa immediately came to my mind, and I wondered what had taken for Wufei to snap out of his denial.
"How did you swing that?" Duo asked.
"He kissed me."
Duo's foot stopped tapping. "What?"
Moving his hand away from Duo, Quatre folded his hands on his lap. "It wasn't until he kissed me that his skepticism faded away."
"Wait," Duo said, waiving his hands in front of him. "What exactly do you mean he kissed you? Was it a friendly kiss on the cheek, or was there tongue involved, what kind of kiss was it?"
I couldn't ask, my mouth was shut tightly and I couldn't find it in me to speak the words, but I also wanted to know exactly what had happened.
"It was a kiss on the lips." Quatre lifted his head just enough to give Duo a side glance and added, "Mouth closed."
"Why?" I swallowed. That one word had been difficult to pronounce.
Quatre sighed. "I'm not sure. It happened just before we decided to leave. We had been talking about my empathy. He wanted to know what happened with Saidah, and about the other episodes." He made a face, as if that last word tasted bitter. "He just listened, all night long, he heard me talk, and then I said I would prove it, if he allowed me, and that's when he kissed me." Quatre's finger's curled. "After that, he said he believed me, and I knew it was true."
"There's something you are not telling us," I said as I watched Quatre close his eyes.
Quatre's chin pressed to his chest and even through the curtain of hair I could see his eyes were still closed. "I…" He took a breath. "I liked it."
"What?" Duo's voice was louder than usually.
Quatre buried his head down further, if it was possible, and I gently put two fingers under his chin and lifted it. His eyes were open but he was avoiding looking at me or Duo.
Duo put a hand on Quatre's shoulder. "Q, do you have feelings for Wufei?" His voice was quiet now, soft, and free of judgment.
Tilting his head slightly, Quatre met Duo's eyes. "I don't know."
"And Trowa?" Duo glared at me as soon as I said the words.
"I love Trowa." Quatre's tone was sincere.
"What did you feel from Wufei?" I asked, remembering that Quatre had an insight none of us did.
"He was curious at first, and then, after the kiss he was nervous and confused. He loves Trowa, though," he said with a little smile. "That was as clear as it could be."
"I don't understand why Fei would kiss you," Duo said. "It seems out of character for him."
I shrugged. There are many things about Wufei we don't know.
"You smell of sex," Quatre's statement startled me. He smiled and added. "I'm glad."
"You're glad we're stinky, Q?" Duo raised an eyebrow. "Man, you're weird."
Quatre's smile brightened a little. "You know what I mean."
"I always do," Duo said, and smiled back. "Now if you just wait right here," he added, in a playful tone as he stood up from the couch, "I'll go change the sheets and then you can come to bed."
Quatre shook his head. "I'll stay here tonight."
"You are welcome to join us," I said.
"It's okay." Quatre stood up and started arranging the pillows on the couch. "I'd rather sleep alone tonight."
I stood up but waited, not sure about leaving. Duo, however, gave Quatre a hug, and then a small kiss on the check before saying goodnight, and walking to the stairs.
"Go, Heero." Quatre smiled at me.
"Goodnight." I kissed him on the forehead and walked to the stairs. Duo was waiting for me there. He pulled me into a kiss and then put an arm around my waist. We climbed the stairs and headed straight for bed, not bothering to change the sheets.
* * *
Duo woke me up. He climbed into bed, fresh from the shower, his hair still unbraided and dripping, and kissed me, hard. He ran his hands up and down my chest and delivered little kisses to my neck and collarbone.
I smiled, put my arms around him, and pulled away the towel around his waist. I caressed his thighs and ass, letting the tip of my fingers tickle the skin just above his hipbone. He moaned. He always does when I do that.
"We can't," he said, pushing my hand away. "Cat is downstairs. He'd feel us and I don't think he's ready to deal with that yet."
I groaned. "You are a tease."
He kissed me again before climbing off the bed and walking naked to the closet. "I'll make it up to you. Promise."
I groaned again and snuggled under the covers, watching Duo dress. "Are you taking Quatre with you today?"
"No," Duo said, buttoning up his work jeans. "I'll need him tomorrow though." He put on a t-shirt and then sat on the bed to put on a pair of socks and his work boots. "Why? Think I should? He might need the distraction."
I watched him braid his hair quickly, but I didn't move. I was too comfortable. "Don't take him unless you really need him. He might need some time to think."
He kissed me again. "I have to go. Keep an eye on him." He didn't wait for me to nod before he was out of the room.
It was early. I closed my eyes ready to sleep some more. A few minutes later another body climbed onto the bed. I moved aside to give Quatre some room.
* * *
Quatre was still sleeping when I woke up again, but as soon as I sat up he opened his eyes.
"Sorry," he said, and gave me a sheepish smile. "I was cold. Duo sent me here. He said you wouldn't mind."
"I don't. We've shared before."
"That was different." He sat up slightly and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. "It was the war. You didn't have a choice."
In the time we had spent together on Earth the conditions had been less than adequate. We moved around a lot, which often left us huddled on the ground sharing a blanket we had stolen just after we crashed. Even the few times we both had a space to sleep we tended to stay close together. It was important to know I had an ally nearby. Duo had taught me it was alright to sleep close to someone you trusted. At first he had said it was to stay warm, then I understood it was to stay sane. Capture is never easy.
Back then, I had the opportunity to give Quatre what Duo had given me: a link to sanity. He didn't think he deserved it then, and now, even though not as intensely as before, he was thinking himself unworthy again.
"Are you uncomfortable by sleeping next to me?" I asked.
His eyes opened wider, as if he had just now woken up. "This is yours and Duo's bed. It isn't right for me to be here."
"Why?"
Clutching the edge of the blankets with his fingers, Quatre opened his mouth to reply and then closed it again. He shook his head. "I'm imposing on you too much already." He laughed but the sound was bitter. "You can't even have sex with me around." He sat up completely now and looked at my eyes when he said, "I think it's time for me to go."
"No." The word left my mouth immediately.
"I'm better now, Heero. My empathy isn't so…" he paused to search for the word, "erratic. You've done what you could, and I'm grateful, but I can't stay here forever."
"Where would you go?" I should have said no again. He wasn't leaving. I wasn't going to let my friend down again.
He shrugged. "I'll figure it out."
"You are running again." He held my gaze; some of the fight that was usually in Quatre's eyes was back. "You are making the same mistake you made when you told Trowa to leave."
His eyes narrowed slightly and he let the blankets go. "It wasn't a mistake. He wanted Wufei and that's what he got. End of story."
"Then why are you afraid?" There was still fight in his eyes but he looked down for a moment, a second, and that was enough for me to know. "You know how they feel," I whispered.
Quatre's shoulders slumped. "No. I'm confused. I'm feeling what I want, not what's real. It's a trick."
"You don't believe that," I said, putting a hand on top of Quatre's. He was freezing. "If you did, you wouldn't be afraid."
He didn't reply. We stayed there, on the bed, me holding his hand, and Quatre looking away. I could wait until he was ready to talk but this time, I wasn't letting him run.
* * *
I would have waited all day if I had to, but half an hour later there was a knock on the door. The robe I had put on last night was still tied loosely around me. I climbed out of bed and walked downstairs, fastening the robe properly.
Trowa and Wufei were at the door, fully dressed. Wufei smirked when he saw me, then glanced at his watch and shook his head. "It's mid morning."
Since I didn't have a watch on, I grabbed his wrist and looked at his. "It's nine fifteen."
He snatched his hand back but before he could argue with me, like I knew he would, Trowa said, "There's something we need to do. Can we borrow your jeep?"
I yawned and nodded. Grabbing the keys from their place at the table I threw them at Trowa. He caught them easily. "Don't worry about dinner tonight," Trowa said. "We'll bring something."
I raised my eyebrow and nodded again. I wasn't going to pass on the opportunity of better food than what Duo or I are capable of preparing. They both turned around and headed for the jeep. I watched them pull out the driveway before I closed the door.
Seeing as I was already downstairs, I set out to make breakfast for me and Quatre. Duo had put on the coffee before he left so some toast and eggs was all I needed to make. Quatre came into the kitchen a few minutes later, showered and dressed in one of my sweatpants and Duo's batman t-shirt. "I can't keep stealing your clothes," he said, looking down at himself.
I turned off the stove and divided the eggs in two plates. "Get the toast." I pointed to the oven with my head. "You look good in our clothes. Less corporate."
He laughed. "Not like Master Winner, you mean."
I shrugged. "That's just a costume. This is more you."
He put the toast on the table at the same time I put the plates. He poured us both some coffee and we sat down, eating quietly. After a few bites he put his fork down on the plate and said, "I don't think I want to go back." He tried to give me a smile but it disappeared almost as soon as it formed. "Even if I'm no longer a threat, I don't want to go back to L4." A pause. "It was lonely there."
"You can stay here." I finished my eggs and started with the toast.
"Heero, you and Duo have already done too much for me. You need your privacy. I can't stay here forever."
"Certainly. This house is too small. However, you can stay on L2." I brushed some crumbs from my robe. "Didn't you say your company was handling a project here? You should stay and oversee it."
He looked down to the side and frowned slightly. I knew he was contemplating my words carefully, weighting his options and seeing if it was a feasible solution. He sighed, so softly that if the room hadn't been in complete silence I wouldn't have noticed. "You are wondering about them."
"I shouldn't," he said, looking back at me. "It's not like…" he shook his head and left the thought unfinished.
"Maybe you should." I finished my toast and started on the coffee. It was warm, not hot, just how I liked it.
"Don't say stuff like that, Heero." Pushing his plate away, Quatre crossed his arms over the table, his fingers curled.
"Why?"
"Because I can't afford to hope." He bit his lip. "I should call my family and the Maguanacs. They must be worried." He stood up, gathered the empty plates and placed them on the sink. "Can I use your phone?"
I gave him a look and he smiled. "Thank you."
After he finished with the dishes, he headed for the kitchen door. "What are you going to say?" I asked, just before he left.
He didn't turn around. "That I'm done running, and that I'm staying here."
TBC
(Last part tomorrow *bites nails*)